Morning Report: Kovalam India

India is not like the US. No, no. Not at all. Our first day, our tour bus picked us up from the airport and took us to our hotel. This was after a 14 hour flight, followed by a 2 hour night's rest followed by a 3 hour flight. At the top of a hill the bus stopped inexplicably. For 10 minutes there was no explanation; but this is India. Finally our guide came back and reported that the bus couldn't go down the hill and that we had to carry out luggage down the steep hill dodging cars, buses and tuk-tuks. Welcome to India.

But I come here, not to complain, but to wonder. The next day Shirley and I were at breakfast. A nice place overlooking the beach called the Swiss Inn (we weren't ready for full immersion quite yet). We overlooked the beach and could watch a row of guys in skirts (the guys wear skirts here) and turbans who were hauling a rope that went out to sea. Far, far out to sea. They hauled and hauled all through breakfast with no apparent result other than lots of coiled rope on the beach. I kept wondering what they were pulling in; the world's largest lobster trap maybe or a hooked right whale? Towards the end of breakfast, Shirley and I realized that there were two rows of guys pulling on ropes and that they were gradually drawing in a net that originally must have covered most of the cove we were looking out at.

We weren't able to stay long enough to see the catch, but I couldn't help think this is exactly how this cove was fished every day for the last thousand of years or so.

The Morning Report: Afternoon Report

I was biking home last night and doing my golf-balling in Van Cort. I was just about to leave the park into Yonkers when this dude came running down the path all wide-eyed and out of breath and he said "Did you see some kids go by on bicycles?" I said yes "They stole my daughters' bikes! You've got to stop them!" I said "When I stop them what I am supposed to do then?" He said "I don't know, but you have to stop them!" So I turned my bike around and hauled-ass down the path back towards the Bronx I came upon two kids riding on a bike and I yelled "Whose bike is that!?" The kid said "That's my bike" and I knew right away he was telling the truth so I apologized and kept going then I saw two kids on two different bikes ahead of me and I yelled "Hey!" They looked back at me and then started to book I yelled "Get off those bikes! You can't out-run me!" Which was true and they soon realized it so they both hopped off the bikes and one kid took off on foot and the other kid stopped and faced me as I got off my bike But I said to myself "I can take this punk" and I went right at him but he thought better of it and turned tail and ran

The Morning Report: Revenge Served Hot

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold.
But what if you have to serve it piping hot?
This is what happened:
I was biking to work on Broadway
and a van passed me pretty close. Its a busy street.
There was a little dog in the window and the window was open.
When he was about a foot from my ear, the little runt barked loudly
and I nearly jumped off of my bike.
A couple of blocks later, the van was stopped at a traffic light.
The little dog was looking forward for his next victim, I assume.
So as I pulled up I barked loudly in his ear.

Revenge.

The Morning Report: Squirrels

Squirrels are so cute!
I know they are rats with fluffy tails
but they come stand looking at me as I am feeding Cardinal Richelieu
with their little hands crossed in front of them
patiently waiting for me to leave
so they can steal all the seeds from the birds
and they pick up each seed with both their little paws and munch away.
Adorable!

The Morning Report: The Stink-Eye

I have a normal place to feed the birds
it is at the intersection of two paths
and there is a square post that goes to about knee-high
where I put the bird seed
In the afternoon
the birds all wait for me there
and it sounds like a high school cafeteria at lunch time
In the morning, they are busy getting their own breakfast
so there are not as many birds lined up
But this morning
I found Seamus, Jake and Guido
before I got to the regular spot
so I fed them there
and when I biked past the regular spot
there was my best customer
a male cardinal
sitting on a branch, looking at the post and licking his lips
and when I biked past without stopping
he gave me the stink eye.

The Morning Report: Seamus, Jake and Guido

Today being Thursday, I had a lot on my mind on the way to work. I had to find golf balls on the way to work because Shirley picks me up in the car on Thursdays after volleyball. Plus I had to come up with names for my bird friends in Van Cortlandt. To make a long story short, I was successful on both counts. I found about 40 golf balls along the bike path near Dunwoodie and I named the chickadee Seamus, the skinny titmouse Jake and the fat titmouse Guido.

In Van Cortlandt Park, I switched from golf balling to bird feeding mode. I was looking for Jake and Guido because I had seen them every morning this week. I finally wanted to coax Guido into landing in my hand. However, I never did see Jake and Guido. I saw a cardinal but couldn't convince him to come nearer. I saw an entire flock of chickadees who I tried to entice by throwing sunflower seed at them. They just flew away. So I gave up. I decided to grab a couple of golf balls I saw just inside the fence and as I was pushing my way through a bush to get to them, I heard a loud honking in my ear. Bbberrrrrrmp! Bbberrrrrrmp! Bbberrrrrrmp! It was Seamus and he had parked himself in the same bush I was in about a foot from my ear.

So I whipped out the sunflower seeds (I always keep a handful now in my pocket) and let him take a couple before I went and grabbed the golf balls.

Sunday I biked down to Van Cortlandt to feed the chickadees. I got off my bike to go through the fence onto the golf course, when I saw a titmouse looking at me funny. You can always tell when a chickadee or titmouse recognizes you because, instead of flying away, they fly towards you, land on a branch, cock their head and stare at you. The titmouse took a couple of tries, but soon was industriously taking sunflower seeds out of my hand. I have a nice video of him on YouTube, picking out the best seed from my hand. Unlike the brazen chickadee who hops around on my hand, takes his time and tosses seeds aside that he doesn't like, my titmouse friend looks terrified. His tuft is straight back, flat on his head, his eyes are wide and his body leans way back away from me. But his fat friend would have none of it. He hopped around the bush watching his friend with obvious envy, but he never could bring himself to land in my hand.

I was golf balling in Van Cort
and, since I was done, I was preparing to carry my bike over the creek that separates the course from the bike path
when my little guy appeared in my face
I reached into my pocket to grab some sunflower seeds and he disappeared
then I heard a chirp behind me
he had landed on the branch behind my head by about a foot
I gave him some seeds
and there was a tufted titmouse watching
but the titmouse couldn't work up the courage to land in my hand
although he tried to follow the chickadee
finally after about 10 tries
and walking around my feet to pick up the chickadee's dropped seeds
he finally worked up the courage
But there was only two
there were other chickadees flying around in the trees
but they never came down for a snack

Filed under: Feathered Friends>Chicadees

http://www.youtube.com/user/davidpmerle

When I can't bike to work, I take the subway to 242nd Street and either take the bus, walk or 'shuffle' home. Sometimes I cut through the golf course just cause its prettier. On Friday, February 15th I ducked through the fence and was walking by the 5th tee. I had my cell phone in my hand because I was getting ready to call Shirley, when, in a mad flutter or wings, a bird landed on my cell phone. Naturally, I was startled and my sudden movement caused the bird to fly away, but less than a minute later, he was back. He landed on my phone a second time and I had a couple of seconds to look at him as he insolently stared at me. It was a chickadee!

Well, I knew what that meant. Chickadees are not interested in making long distance calls or texting their friends; this chickadee wanted seeds. So Saturday Shirley and I came back to the same spot with sunflower seeds and we practiced standing like statues for 30 minutes with our hands out holding sunflower seeds. Nothing. No birds anywhere. We left disappointed but came back on Sunday for another attempt. Again at the same spot we stood like statues to no avail. After about 10 minutes we left and went for a walk after scattering a couple of hand fulls of seeds on the ground. On our way back to the car, we passed the spot where we had scattered the seeds and it was obvious there had been a feeding frenzy. There were sunflower shells everywhere. I took the bag of sunflower seeds out of my pocket and poured some into my hand and before I could put the bag away my chickadee swooped in and landed on my hand. I stood there as my chickadee made several trips. In the bush right next to me there were two pretty grey birds who watched this with intense interest. Every time the chickadee landed for another seed, they hopped closer on the bush. A couple times they tried to fly to my hand but turned back in a flurry of feathers as they discovered that it was just too scary.

I let Shirley take over with the seeds and almost immediately the grey birds (they turned out to be tufted titmice) landed in her hand and started feeding. Check here to see the videos of me and Shirley feeding the birds. For the entire time, the chickadees preferred coming to me and the tufted titmice preferred going to Shirley.

http://www.youtube.com/user/davidpmerle

Filed under: The Boyz R Back>Peter Luger's

The boyz and I made our annual pilgrimage to Peter Luger's to enjoy some red meat and manly company.Here Michael Russo gives his best attempt at a manly hug with Paul Merle. See more pictures here.

Filed under: Natural Disasters>Food Delivery

I guess this is a story that has to be told.

Last night Shirley and I ordered our usual, General Tso's chicken and Won Ton soup, from our favorite Chinese restaurant: Kung Food. The delivery guy arrived (he's our regular guy), called us from outside (as usual) so I went to the door to pay him. I paid him and left a tip and then went back inside and put the food on the living room table. Next thing you know, he was back and banging urgently on the front door. I went outside in my socks and, although his English is practically non-existent, he quickly made me understand that his car had been stolen. I went back in, got my cell phone and came back outside to call 911. As I was waiting for 911, I asked the Chinese guy what kind of car it was, but he couldn't answer other than he thought it was a Toyota. Meanwhile a car pulled up to the sidewalk next to us as I was describing to 911 the situation. Our next door neighbor got out with his pit bull and started mumbling something like "She is so crazy". As I am talking to 911, I am beginning to realize that this guy not only witnessed the car theft but knows who did it. So I said, while still on the line with 911, "Wait, you know who took the car?". The guy with the dog mumbled some more stuff and was evasive. All he could seem to say was, "She is so crazy". Then the delivery guy started pointed urgently at a car driving buy and said something loudly that I didn't understand. What I believe he meant was that his car was like the one that was driving by at the moment. Later I learned that what he actually meant was "That is MY car. The person who stole it just drove it by the house again". Soon after that the police car came, driving the wrong way down our street. The police asked questions of us and from what the guy with the pit bull was saying I was starting to realize that the person who took the car was his girlfriend, who also lived here in the same apartment building. Then the police put the delivery guy in the car and went off to look for the stolen car. I went back into my apartment to eat my Chinese food. I didn't get to enjoy it for long because, pretty soon, another police car had come and a new police officer was ringing the doorbell. I just wanted to eat my General Tso's chicken at this point. The officer came in and started asking questions. He pointed at the chinese food on the living room table and asked "Is that what the food the delivery guy brought?" I said, "You aren't going to take it as evidence are you?" Luckily he has a sense of humor and didn't pull his gun. Well, I feel I should make a long story short; it turns out the girl who lives in our building took the car for reasons unknown. She drove around a bit and then abandoned the car. The police found the car later that night, and found her in the apartment. They dragged her off to the precinct but no charges were pressed.