Filed under: Buffalos>Don't Stand Behind

Yesterday Shirley got charged by a buffalo. Today we begin the trek. The circle of life.

Gentle readers, fear not if you don’t hear from us. Since the Sherpas are already carrying the espresso maker, the blender (for pina coladas) and a fax machine and for Shirley, a hairdryer, iron, curling iron and manicure set, I thought it wrong to have them carry my laptop too. Especially since there is virtually no chance of an internet connection. We have been lucky to have plumbing and electricity so far. In Kathmandu there is apparently only 14 hours of electricity per day, per area.  People in Kathmandu run their own wires into adjacent areas that they know will have electricity on a different schedule than their own. We haven’t had perforated toilet paper yet. Apparently that invention has not made it to Nepal.

But now we are in Pokhara, a small town with a lake. This is our base camp to start our assault on Annapurna. We ate by the lake yesterday evening. I thought it would be a great idea to get a picture of Shirley with some buffaloes that wandered near. Who knew they charged? Shirley escaped, to the amusement of all nearby, including the owner of the buffaloes.

Filed under: In Kathmandu>Did Kubla Khan

Probably nothing could have prepared me for Kathmandu. I had almost no idea of what it would be like. I guess I kind of thought it was a small town. It ain't! Its a teeming, vibrant, energetic city. Travel in Kathmandu is insane by any standards. I don't think there are highways and all the streets are narrow. Into these narrow streets cows, chickens, monkeys, pedestrians, bicyclists, motorcyclists, cars, buses and trucks all cram themselves and travel both ways (in what should rightfully be one way, single lane roads) with no regard for stop signs (there are none), dividers, sidewalks, traffic lights (there are none...none that work at least) or each other. There are more motorcycles on the road then anything, because those are the only vehicles that can make good progress against this sea of humanity. By law all the motorcycle riders have to wear helmets, but none of the passengers do. And most of the motorcycles have between 1 and 4 passengers. Its not uncommon to see the entire family on one motorcycle. The strangest part is that in this never ending stream of beeping, swerving traffic regular daily chores occur. You can see people doing normal household chores. People live right on the street...or so close that they might as well set their barca-lounger right in traffic. You can peer into their open living rooms. In this insanity of travel I saw a woman bending over a bowl washing her hair. There were women sweeping their front stoop and men fixing their motorcycles. It would be like...and I'm not exaggerating now...brushing your teeth and combing your hair in the middle of 42nd Street and Broadway.

Filed under: Antipodian>Expeditions

In the airport we met our companions for the next 3 weeks. Michael, Jeff and Sue who I went to Fordham with. Shirley and I met two more people from New Hampshire, David and Patsy.  Also we have Lynn and Andie. No obvious rotten apples in the bunch (possibly I'm the rotten apple?).

It is an epic journey just to get there. I think Shirley said that it will be a total of 24 hours of travel. Right now we are working our way through a 9 hour lay-over in Delhi India. I HOPE THIS IS WORTH IT!

I can't wait to see something other than the inside of an airplane or airport. Admittedly, the flight crew on Jet Airways was very interesting. I have never seen guys with turbans walking up and down the aisle passing out drinks. To get up to speed, I watched a very entertaining Bollywood movie, Robot, starring my favorite Bollywood actress, Aishwarya Rai. Pure camp!

Filed Under: Golf Balls>The Zen of Collecting

To catch golf balls in the wild (I use 'catch' figuratively; I recommend that you wait until they are on the ground), first you have to be smarter than they are. Golf balls in the wild are wary, in tune to their environment and ruthless. Humans are, for the most part, complacent, out of touch with nature, and lazy. That is why golf balls find it so easy to avoid capture and roam free for years.

I have made it my life's goal to find these feral golf balls, capture them, clean them up and find them good homes. I can tell you that there are thousands of them out there. I know because Shirley and I have thousands of them temporarily living in our home as we try to find them loving homes.

The best place to find lost golf balls is, duhhhhhh!!!!!...the golf course. It is inadvisable, however, to capture a golf ball that is still in play. My advise is, when on the course, determine which way the tee is. Look that way and if you see little guys holding clubs or little golf carts zipping around, don't repatriate any golf balls that you find. Hide in the bushes (so as not to scare away the truly lost golf balls) until the golfers have gone past and then start your search.

Filed Under: Natural Disasters>Stormageddon 2010

Just two weeks after barely surviving the great Snowurricane of 2010, Shirley and I are, once again, huddled on the floor, watching House and shivering with fear as the elements howl outside the window. Foolishly, we ventured out earlier. We wanted one last Pizza Hut meal. We almost hit a downed tree on the Saw Mill Parkway  less than a mile from our apartment and things only got worse from there. It seemed that almost every street in Yonkers, Ardsley and Hartsdale was blocked with either downed trees or power lines. Driving down Central Avenue we heard an explosion and saw a shower of sparks falling from a pole. Either lightning had just struck or the wire exploded, we don't know which and we don't care. We got the hell out of there. No sense calling 911. We tried several times and it was always busy.

Our advice: order Dominos and have them deliver. Stay home, don't go out. Watch any old movies you have and pray that Snowmageddon blows itself out overnight.

Filed Under: Day 2>SOS

Report 2 from the maw of the snowurricane.

We run low on food....low on water...we can communicate now only with grunts and groans through parched lips and swollen tongues. When will help come? Before the battery of our iPhone died, we managed to spend a last plea for help to the Fusconnors.

When will they come? Dios mio! When will they come?

At least we still have our parking spot...

Filed Under: Natural Disasters>Snowurricane of 2010

Greetings from the bowels of the great snowurricane of 2010 (snowurricane is a registered trademark of Freshie O'Fusco and cannot be used with out her expressed consent). One thing that can be said for snowurricanes is that they give you plenty of time for comtemplative pursuits like blogging.

Snowurricanes wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the darned snow. It piles up everywhere. On the sidewalks, on the lawns, in the trees and especially on the streets. Snowurricanes turn that which we normally take for granted: parking spaces, into solid gold.

Shirley and I have been hunkered down with our stockpile of food and water, not daring to move. Our rifles are locked and loaded, we peer suspiciously over the window sills from time to time, not because of the dangerous weather conditions but because we are in mortal fear of losing our parking space.

It looks like we might be trapped in the house until the spring. Please send help!